the spam uprising, spam edition

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Julianos
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the spam uprising, spam edition

Post by Julianos » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:09

Dread_lord148 roamed the halls of the oblivion forum. As he gazed upon the statues of wester, paul, iamthelord, catherine, darth urra and other regulars with bit post counts, he wondered to himself, "I would do anything to have a big post count...." Suddenly, from the darkness, came Lord Evuss.
" I can grant your wish, young noob. Bow to me and your post count will be endless, and with your apprenticeship, I can take down paul. We can rule portalforums, together." Dread, without thinking twice, bowed. The Lord Evuss bellowed with maniacal laughter, and all hell broke loose. Paul suddenly had no access to the admin control pannel, noobs swarmed in from all over the world, random crap was posted, and all the regulars could do was watch as the once beautiful land of portalforums.net burned. Until now, because a forumer that has just come out of noobitude and entered regulardom can fight back. He has gathered all of the regulars in the RP forum, sicne most noobs can't write for shit. Now we just hope that noobs don't take a crash course in writing, then they would find a way into the RP forum, and te regulars would have no way out.


Julianos walked with a group of RPers and asked captain Urra' what they should do.
" Make sure that the noobs havent infiltrated us." OB smacked julianos across the foorhead with a pole. Julian fell to the ground unconscious.
" HE IS A NOOB!" he yelled.
" No, he just seems like a noob." Achillies said.
" Oh yeah." Said OB.

(( this is like a spam RP, but a little more serious. Dont be introducing new characters all the time, and be revelant to the plot. But most importantly, be hilarious, or i will kill you.))
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Cowardly
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Post by Cowardly » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:12

YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVEEEE WAAAAA!!!









Chill hid.

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Julianos
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Post by Julianos » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:19

Somewhere in the dark reaches of the Oblivion forum, Lord Evuss paced the hallways with Dread. Every once in a while they would post a spoiler in the general section, or double post. Suddenly, a group of left-behind regular warriors came out from behind the rules thread, and started slashing at the noob guards near Evuss.
" SET PHASERS TO KILL!" Evuss yelled. The regulars dropped like sacks of potatoes to the phaser blasts, no match for the nerdiness of noobs.
" Take the bodies to the general section, stick a noob brain in them, give them weapons, and send them to the gates of the RP section. Hopefully they will be able to write, if they can, we can take down the regulars.
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OBrocks
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Post by OBrocks » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:20

LOL IM ON THE CEILING
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samuelmonaghan_aussie wrote:damn right im fascinated about gay sex
Gordon Frohman wrote:I, Gordon Frohman, am racist.

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Jazz
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Post by Jazz » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:22

Jazz came out from behind Urra, dressed like a spartan. "Forumers! Tonight we dine in Noob Hell!!" he shouted. The other forumers banged their chests and shouted their battle cries, "Aoo Aoo Aoo!!!" they chanted. Urra backhanded him across the face, "How many times must i tell you, yu're NOT King Leonidas from 300!" he shouted, a look of anger on his face.

Jazz rubbed his cheeks, "Come on, i was just trying to raise everyone's morale." he told his captain. Urra sighed, "Sorry, just try and keep it down for a bit, i need to think." Jazz nodded, then headed over to where some of the other regulars were gathered.
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Ransom wrote:
Jazz wrote:needs moar master chief
FOR FUCKS SAKE GORDON I HAVE HAD IT UP TO oh it's you jazz

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Julianos
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Post by Julianos » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:28

Paul walked up to the stage, and said to the regulars
" I've received word, io dont know how, that a group of regulars made up of impostorzim, stabbeh, and iamthelordhitman are commanding 30 other regulars, holding off noobs from the funnies thread in the general section. They are valuable to our cause, even iff stabbeh has a low post count. Who is going, and who is staying. Remember, these regulars are 7 forums away, each filled with noobs."
slowly regulars stepped forward, until the everyone was volunteering. Paul made Catherine, achillies, and chill stay to command 50 regulars in guarding the forum from noobs.
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OBrocks
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Post by OBrocks » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:38

OB ate a very tasty banana
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samuelmonaghan_aussie wrote:damn right im fascinated about gay sex
Gordon Frohman wrote:I, Gordon Frohman, am racist.

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Cowardly
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Post by Cowardly » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:51

Chill, taking the initiative, ran out of general and into OB section. maybe there were answers here.
Mongoose stepped on bravely with him. They armed themselves with the spoiler and URL tags which they knew would confuse and ultimately banish the n00bs.
"wats teh best sword" a n00b asked
"rofl pwnzor" shouted another
" OH GOD THERES TOO MANY" yelled Chill, who turned and tripped over a rock.
Mongoose fled.
Well now Chill... It was Evuss...

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OBrocks
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Post by OBrocks » Tue Mar 20, 2007 20:55

Finishing his banana and oblivious to the n00b uprising, walked into the Oblivion section.

"LOL"
" :lol: :lol: "
"roflroflrofl"
"lol"
"lol"
"haha"

OB screamed like a girl as n00bs swarmed him. He saw Chill in the "cool characters" thread and called out for help.
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samuelmonaghan_aussie wrote:damn right im fascinated about gay sex
Gordon Frohman wrote:I, Gordon Frohman, am racist.

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Cowardly
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Post by Cowardly » Tue Mar 20, 2007 21:11

Chill kicked Evuss in the balls and took his stance
"not so tough eh?"
"SET PHASERS TO CONFUSED"
chill fell down. then the OB n00bs lied on top of him
"can you help me"
"what do i do"
"how do i install OB?"
"whos paul"
"AIIIIIIIEEE" Chill screamed. And tore his own face off.

Chill used the spoilers to confuse and terrify the n00bs and ran towards OB.
"RUNNN!!! THEYVE GOT QUESTIONS!!!!!"

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Julianos
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Post by Julianos » Tue Mar 20, 2007 21:41

" How do you join the divines?"
" What's kvatch?"
" I thought this was runescape"

The shouts of mindless noobs rang in julian's ears as he took them down one by one with his master sword that he had obtained from the super smash bros. mellee thread.
" can I be a mod?"
" Whats a spore thread?"
Julian cut their heads, their wenis', and any other exposed part of their body. Until, he came upon thegeneral section. Between him and the funny stronghold was the hills have eyes thread, the avatar wall thread, and the pathfinder thread. He entered THHE thread, and was greeted by many nuclear noobs, who spat nuclear waste at him. HE took the hyrule sheild, deflected thre watse, and with a little hack n' slash he was on to the avatar thread. The noobified avatars of the great monuments of pf history attacked him. He quickly disposed of most, until he came upon the avatar of hayden. When it was noobified, he saw who was behind the mask. HE recognized the peircing black eyes and the freckles. It was narutoz1. Narutoz took his quitar and played horribly, making julian hold his ears in disgust. Narutoz bit julian's ankles. Suddenly, Urra' entered the thread. He stopped the noob, and pretty much pwned the fuck out of him. He undrew his lightsaber, and they both made a run for the pathfinder thread. The lightsaber and the sword drew ash and blood of noobs and vikings alike. The native americans came with the two regulars, and they came upon the funnies thread. Hundreds of noobs stood around the stronghold, hoping to seek awesomeness from its contents. Urra had the native americans shoot rrows at them, while julian and him cut a path to the gates, where they would attempt to enter. They slashed at throats, balls, and man cans. Eventually, they were at the gate. Hitman's awesome avatar let them in. Inside, they found the 300 spartans accompanying the regulars.
" IT WILL BE KNOWN THAT FEW STOOD UP AGAINST MANY AND WON!!!" leonidas shouted.
" What??" julian whispered to stabbeh.
" He's been saying that for hours. I want to throw him toi the noobs."

Later, they all fought their way out, and met up with some regulars in the oblivion section
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Impostorzim
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Post by Impostorzim » Tue Mar 20, 2007 23:40

All of a sudden there was hush as Impostorzim walked through the threads. "Hey kid...catch." He throws Stabbeh a Mountain Dew which hits him in the head.
"I leave for one school day and theres already a crapload of noobs..good thing I'm the leader! Ahahahaha........

...............

"Lets get this party started!" He pulls out his 100 pound sword and Steven Tyler's guitar.
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KnightofBane wrote:Impostorzim:
Ignorant.
Assuming jackass.
Yeeaah... That pretty much sums it up.

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DeltaSnake.Jr.
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Post by DeltaSnake.Jr. » Wed Mar 21, 2007 02:47

(I wouldn't count my self as a reg but not a noob either.)

Deltasnake.Jr. pulled up an extremely large medieval cliever as a group of nerds and regulars fought "FOR THE CLAN!"
He charged in to the group, killing both noobs and regulars alike "I shall drink your noobish slash regular blood fools!" He proceeded to chop off a noob's head and chucked it at a regular.
Rupert: 2000-2007. May he rest in peace.

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Click if you wish to live.
http://world5.monstersgame.co.uk/?ac=vid&vid=59212185
KnightofBane wrote:
Saladin wrote:Very, it's all risky and taboo.

Besides, what else would it be? lol

It's not like you're gonna have a serious relationship with a family member.
XM Silver did

why do you think he quit the internet? he lives in Alabama.

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Jazz
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Post by Jazz » Wed Mar 21, 2007 04:27

Jazz was going about his daily patrol across the borders between the RP section and the OB sections. Suddenly a troop of about 10 or so nooblets came riding on horses over the barrier, one of them carrying skulls in his hands.

The assumed leader jumped off his horse and landed near Jazz, "Give it up regular, there can be no victory against the army off noobs that the God King Evuss has assembled. Sybmit to our will, or perish!" he shouted, thinking he was some sort of threat.

Jazz reached to his belt and drew his sword, pointing at the messenger, "You come to these forums carrying the skulls of admins from conquered forums, you threaten the regulars with slavery and death!" his voice was deep and frightening. The nooblet messenger stepped back in fear, until he was against a giant pit, the pit of endless spam.

"This is blasphemy, this is madness!" he shouted, trying to keep Jazz from kicking him over the edge. Jazz lowered his weapon, then looked behind him to Captain Urra, who simply nodded. He turned back to face the messenger, "Madness? This is PORTAL FORUUUUMSSSS!!!" he roared, then lifted his leg and slamme dhis foot against the messenger, sending him into the black pit of endless spam. The other regulars began slaughtering the other nooblets, and tossed their corpses into the pit.

Urra approached Jazz, "Dude, you really need to lay off this 300 stuff, i think you might be obsessed." he told his friend. "Puh." was Jazz's reply.
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Ransom wrote:
Jazz wrote:needs moar master chief
FOR FUCKS SAKE GORDON I HAVE HAD IT UP TO oh it's you jazz

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OBrocks
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Post by OBrocks » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:22

OB and Chill ran as fast as they could out of the OB section. But there were too many. General Nefneir came out of nowhere and tripped OB. He started screaming in Spanglish. A group of n00bs grabbed Chill and began asking more questions.

"HOW DO I TAKE TEH SCREENSHOTS LOLZ"

"do you know where to find good tennis rackets?"

"DO U THINK THERES GONNA BE ANOTHER OBLIVION"

It seemed like everything was lost. It was too late, n00bs were everywhere. They hoped Jazz or Hitman or someone would see them and come to their aid.
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samuelmonaghan_aussie wrote:damn right im fascinated about gay sex
Gordon Frohman wrote:I, Gordon Frohman, am racist.

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