Sex Stories

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Mr. Smith
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Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Tue Mar 30, 2010 18:17

OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Ashbutt2007
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Ashbutt2007 » Sat Apr 17, 2010 03:40

and u probably j.o. to this hu h ?
My sig was too big.

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Sat Apr 17, 2010 05:19

Ashbutt2007 wrote:and u probably j.o. to this hu h ?
No comment
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Damondo
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Damondo » Sat Apr 17, 2010 15:22

Ashbutt2007 wrote:and u probably j.o. to this hu h ?
No abbreviations or censoring in this thread plz.... Just say it!

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Ashbutt2007
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Ashbutt2007 » Sat Apr 24, 2010 21:29

ryan jacking off to this site too =]
My sig was too big.

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Sun Apr 25, 2010 00:19

nope, shits too messed up to jo to.
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Thu Aug 12, 2010 22:59

me and this girl where drunk at a party I start eating here out (>this is my first time eating out) she climaxes and squirts all over my face then I find out she was on her period then I got up and punched her in the vagina and ran home and sat in the shower for 5 hours >That scared me for life ]:
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Thu Aug 12, 2010 23:02

So I was making it with this hippy girl. She was totally into organic food and shit. You know, the hot kind with dreadlocks but shaved pits.

So I go down under and start to rim her too. She starts squealing and moaning like a hippy bitch in heat.

Since she likes anal so much, I put my sharpie in her pooper. Shit was tight, felt good man.

But when I pull out, I got this big old mudclod of shit on my dick pretty much covering my head. And what did I see on this mudclod, dear reader?

WORMS. Little white wigglers.

I start to freak out and tell her she needs to go see a doctor and get this shit taken care of. But she's a hippy so she's all into holistic medicine and naturalism and shit. She responds

"Oh, those are just pinworms. They're totally normal. Nearly everybody has them."
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Thu Aug 12, 2010 23:07

For some reason I think of Chill when i read this.

put hand in girl's undies, fingers are immediately entangled in an untrimmed bush full of crusty, dry, 3 inch hair that smelled worse than I could have ever imagined.
went limp, lost the mood, went to wash hands but the smell refused to come off.

horrible.
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Thu Aug 12, 2010 23:12

1st
At age 17: Lost virginity to a hooker for 30$. In the hotel room I was so shy, I undressed myself in the bathroom and tried to put the condom on but the fucker wouldn't grow. So the bitch came and started to rub him and he magically exploded to full growth. The sex was awkward because I didn't dare to touch her except for the dick-pussy connection. She began twisting my nipples and moaned like a bitch. Even as a virgin I knew she was faking, her pussy was dry like Sandpaper. Also the condom broke in the process and I didn't notice, but the bitch did.

2nd
First blowjob: I fapped since I'm 12 years old, but I never usually touch the bare dickhead. When my gf began licking it, felt bad man. I had the urgent need to piss and eventually I said I was gonna cum, but actually pissed in her mouth. Her mouth became so full, she couldn't swallow or do anything, so she just jumped back and the piss just sprayed across the bed. Shit sucked.

3rd
After riding my gf, both in upright position, there were shit stains on my sheets. Where I sat. Shit really sucked.
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Thu Aug 12, 2010 23:13

Classifications of said "bad" sex stories usually run into one of these 3 categories:

1.) Stinky Vags.
2.) Period Blood.
3.) Fart in Mouth.

I've had all 3.

1.) Chick's vagoo tasted like burnt rubber and rancid meat. My eyes LITERALLY would tear up thinking of her 2-3 years after the incident. Pretty sure she had a yeast infection at the time as I got something "weird" on my dick afterwards. Thankfully, it went away.
2.) Fuckin' a chick on her period, pull out to the sound of "SPLCHT!" as a hard stream of sex-juice and blood shoot out and hit my abdomen,
3.) Bend chick over, legs up, eating her ass and vag at the same time when she farts on my tongue. Just a lil' popper. Could taste it on my tongue.
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Thu Aug 12, 2010 23:15

Into anal play.

Fucking a 46 year old milf when I stick my finger up her ass. I feel some little crumblers in there, so I pull it out, think nothing of it.

She apparently misses it and puts her own finger in her ass. My hands are tied to her nice big tits at the moment when she pulls it out, puts the finger on my open lip.

I purposefully say "No" and pull my head away to the side into the pillows. She's in the moment and thinks nothing of it and puts her finger in her mouth.

I could tell the moment she tasted that clod of shit on her finger, as it was a dried clod.

Either way, she continued on like nothing happened and kept riding.

Every time I think back to the moment though it makes me heave.
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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OBrocks
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by OBrocks » Fri Aug 13, 2010 03:15

why did I read all of those
Image
samuelmonaghan_aussie wrote:damn right im fascinated about gay sex
Gordon Frohman wrote:I, Gordon Frohman, am racist.

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Mr. Smith
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Mr. Smith » Fri Aug 13, 2010 04:50

OBrocks wrote:why did I read all of those
Because, some of them were funny.
OBrocks wrote:i need to know if ill actually be getting a penis pump in the mail so i can prepare an explanation for my parents
Saladin wrote:I do not want to play two truths and a lie with Smith.
Quack wrote:PF BATTLE ROYALE 2015: EVERYONE DRAWS SALADIN LICKING HIS OWN BUTTHOLE

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Quack
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Re: Sex Stories

Post by Quack » Fri Aug 13, 2010 15:05

disgusting > funny
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