ransom flashes fiction all over your face

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Ransom
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ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Ransom » Tue Mar 13, 2012 08:34

A spoon clinked on glass. The guests babbled louder, if anything, and Ransom escalated. Glass shattered; heads turned.

'Gentlemen,' he said, tweaking his bow tie as spilt wine pooled at his feet. 'Gentlemen. Allow me to divert your attention for a moment. You see—' he cocked an eyebrow '—I have a proposal to make.'

A hooded soldier at the back of the room stopped punching women for a moment to shout: 'Get to the point, nerd!'

Ransom adjusted his top hat and cleared his throat. 'Yes. Right. Well: as you're all quite aware, of course, I am something of a writer.' He pronounced the word in the way other people might pronounce "royalty" or "helicopter stuntman". 'Just what do I write about, I hear you ask? Why, gentlemen—today the answer to that question is in your hands! Ideas, bold or trifling, lend me yours and I'll write about them all!'

A fire in the shape of a man leapt forward. 'WRITE ABOUT US!' it boomed, its breath searing Ransom's brow. 'ABOUT US!'

'Write about him!' said an enormous floating tab key. 'Give him a cool sword!'

Ransom had enough time for a feeling of awful, yawning regret to well up in his gut before a coyote pounced him yelping to the floor. 'Day of the Triffids,' the animal snarled. 'Gulliver's Travels. Futurama. Game of Throooones . . .' Drool spattered Ransom's face. Wrenching himself free he started shoving his way through the crowd. They pressed in, monstrous limbs snatching at his suit. He felt his top hat slapped off his head.

The intercom blared feedback; their dictator, as always, had been listening. 'BRUCE WILLIS,' the pitch-shifted voice intoned, 'AT A MID-PRICED RESTAURANT.'

'No,' Ransom breathed, backing up against a wall. A toothless face leered out of the plaster. He staggered away with a shout but a skeleton in a trenchcoat knocked him back. 'Football with guns!' the wrinkled face yammered. 'They're slaves! Guns!'

'A man who lies!'

A grey cat latched onto his face. 'Frontier Psychiatrist! Frontier Psychiatrist!' it hissed.

'Tackling with guns!'

'He wants to tell the truth because of promotions but he lies!'

'Gulliver's Traaaaavels . . .'

Ransom began to cry, scrabbling on the floor for his hat. Faces swarmed in, Cheshire-cat grins splitting their twisted lips. 'Please,' he whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks. 'Please. I'm sorry—'

'YES,' the intercom chuckled. 'WHY DON'T YOU WRITE ABOUT IT.'
WHY NOT INDEED

so like an idiot i let the original thread expire so here's a recap for posterity (don't y'all worry i noted down your ideas before the thread expired):

HERE'S THE DEAL. i'd like you guys to throw some story premises at me - any subject or genre - and i'll bash them into <1000 word stories and post the finished product. be as silly or as serious as you like. try to keep them short: one sentence per idea if you can manage it.

disclaimer: i can't make any promises about quality, naturally. i'll be working these into my daily writing routine so i'm not going to be doing much polishing. i'll do my best to entertain but ultimately the only goal is to write.


they're all going to be a bunch of fun to write, thanks guys!
Last edited by Ransom on Tue Mar 13, 2012 08:38, edited 2 times in total.

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kob
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by kob » Tue Mar 13, 2012 16:30

hahaha that was great

also i think this is better suited for General only because RJ purges so i shall move it there

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Aliens
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Aliens » Tue Mar 13, 2012 17:33

I agree, pretty amusing.

WHY NOT WRITING AND ART KoB YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!!?!?

hey ransom how about a flash fiction where MIKE and I FIGHT?!?!?!?!!!!

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kob
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by kob » Tue Mar 13, 2012 17:53

i forgot that board existed good idea

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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by burnfire88 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 17:57

Stabbeh wrote:I agree, pretty amusing.

WHY NOT WRITING AND ART KoB YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!!?!?

hey ransom how about a flash fiction where MIKE and I FIGHT?!?!?!?!!!!
No one wants to read a story about you getting beat down Sabbeth. :whistle:
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OB_rocks13 wrote:Chill

As soon as you become mod, ban ransom for a day

if you have the balls to do it

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Ransom
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Ransom » Wed Mar 14, 2012 02:22

my only worry about posting it here is that nobody really checks this forum, but i'm not fussed

and yeah feel free to make more suggestions. i'll get to the next one in a day or two

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Aliens
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Aliens » Wed Mar 14, 2012 02:27

Ransom wrote:my only worry about posting it here is that nobody really checks this forum

thats the point

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Ransom
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Ransom » Wed Mar 14, 2012 03:46

FOOL YOU HAVE PLAYED RIGHT INTO MY TRAP

NOW FEWER PEOPLE WILL SUGGEST THINGS AND MY BACKLOG WILL STAY MANAGEABLE

AH-AH-AH

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Aliens
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Aliens » Wed Mar 14, 2012 03:54

Upon reconsideration, I decided that KOB was initially correct in his decision.

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Ransom
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Ransom » Wed Mar 14, 2012 04:59

I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS

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Quack
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Quack » Sat Mar 17, 2012 22:18

Premise: all the regular Portal Forum members living together in the same house
Image

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Gordon Frohman
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Gordon Frohman » Sun Mar 18, 2012 00:56

Quack wrote:Premise: all the regular Portal Forum members living together in the same house
Yeah, this. I hoped I wasn't going to post in here but this piqued my curiosity.

Do it, Ransom. Do it for the world.
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Honestly you guys, Frohman was an Internet terrorist.

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Cowardly
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Cowardly » Tue Mar 20, 2012 08:58

Moby Dick

You are the Whale

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Achilles
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Achilles » Tue Mar 20, 2012 19:16

Invent the 4th person view while telling a story in the second person.
Fasbook
Achilles wrote: You were always a cartoonist Ransom... unrealistic.

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Ransom
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Re: ransom flashes fiction all over your face

Post by Ransom » Wed Mar 21, 2012 01:18

hahaha fuck you achilles >:[

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